I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
