i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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