I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
