Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
