So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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