I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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