get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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