I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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