I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
