dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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