you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
