We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
