You made me cry and you don't even care
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
