Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
