I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
