i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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