Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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