So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
