420 ftw
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
