His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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