Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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