You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
