He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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