You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
