You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
