I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
