ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
