if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
