Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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