She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
