somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sober January is a disaster.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
