I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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