Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
