his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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