Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
