Your dad touched me again.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
