he thought i was a dude.
it's like iHOP with fire
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
