I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
