coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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