Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just had sex on a roof
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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