Non-Jews are for practice
it was like his penis was on wheels.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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