So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
