it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
