Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
