ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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