And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
