New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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