I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
