Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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