fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
