I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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