I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
