you will always have a special place in my vag
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
